I would like to thank my good friend Heidi for reminding me that once upon a time I started a blog. February arrived, my husband came home from Afghanistan and suddenly I disappeared. Where did I go? Well, obviously I left to go take advantage of my husbands sunkissed body. Duh. Why did I stay gone? Because the sight of my husband made me forget I even started this blog. He is once again deployed so I will rely on this faithful peace of internet to vent every frustration and aggravation that has ever arrives on my doorstep from now until August. So, lets begin.
First and foremost, I feel I should inform you that I have found Satan. Yes, it's true. She's ridiculously sexy and has a kick ass body and appears occasionally in my dreamstate menage a tois. Who is this majestic woman you ask? Let me open your eyes: Satan is Jillian Michaels. What? You didn't know? Obviously you have not discovered Jillian Michaels Workout DVD: The 30 Day Shred. I know why it's called a Shred. Because she shreds your soul. After your first workout you wonder how the hell you are going to survive day 2. Then day 3 and by day 4 you feel like keeling over into someones grave. And then, amazingly, your muscles adapt. You do your day 5 workout and you think, "Wow! I can do this! Why was I complaining? This is SO EASY!" you continue for 5 more days on your blissful cloud of self-righteousness.
And then.... THEN you move to day 11 and Level 2. You get through your first round of torture and the only thought going through your head is, "Well Shit." Yes. You are back at square one. And you still have 13.5 more minutes to go. You are no longer the majestic, ass kicking woman that can handle whatever Jillian throws at you. You're once again the puny little kid that can't climb up that damned rope in the grade school gymnasium.
Jillian, I hate you... and you are sexier than ever to me now. I can only imagine the amount of pain I am going to be in tomorrow thanks to you. I don't know how the Biggest Losers do it. Hell No.
Speaking of this hell, I think Jillians demons have been let loose to reek havoc upon my life, because this week has been nothing short of the 13 circle of hell. What has gone wrong? Everything. I am still better off than many people, and their have been some fun moments this week, but Lord please have mercy on me and make it stop.
I think my biggest problem right now is that I have a RAGING upper resp infection and am now 2 days without a proper bath due to the fact that my tub had a hole in it. While the hole in now fixed, I have to wait 24 hrs for the porcelain to set before I can once again use it. I find this ridiculous. So the past two days, I have been kickin' it old school and bathing with a washcloth and 1 sink filled with soapy water and one sink with clean rinsing water. If you know this girl, you know I can NOT sleep unless I have a bath.
In other Happier news, I made a marvelous new friend this week. Her name is Sophie, she's Russian, she's the new life-guard for my complex, and she's hilarious. I think we are going to wind up being very close and when we are not chatting face to face, we are chatting via text and she's constantly begging me to bring Ana to play with her. We both come from large families, we both have separated parents in other relationships and we both are goofy as hell. It's fun to watch her mull over her English to try and describe something to me and I enjoy trying to figure out what the hell she is talking about. I'm very friendly and outgoing and sometimes it's hard to draw people out of their shells because I have SUCH a big personality but Sophie warmed right up to me. So in all the crappiness of this week, SHE was my silver lining. Thank you for that Sophie.
What else? Well, I have this other gal in my life. She's kinda shy but a lot of fun, she always makes me smile and she is constantly on my back making me do things that I don't want to do - Like Post 365 pics. GAWD. :P She has let me in on a lot in her life and I feel close to her through that. I can relate to much of what she feels a lot of the time and as an added bonus, she loves the Lord. She also blogs about her readings of the bible and really helps me in my journey as well. Because as brash and crazy as I am, I do love God but I have a TERRIBLE time understanding the Bible. When I read her posts, it really opens my eyes to the meaning behind what is written. So shout out to my girl who helps me in all ways. Spiritually, emotionally and mentally.
And on that note, this sick, elephant chested gal is going to bed and praying that the elephant heads back to the circus sometime tonight so she can breath. Peace out to my 1 reader. Haha
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